Moyes Scouted by UKIP Leader After Keeping Man Utd Out of Europe

by Mike Woodfine

Ex-Manchester United manager David Moyes has been seeing cracking his first smile in 6 months after suggestions by UKIP leader Nigel Farage that he should come and join his party.

When asked whether or not he was worried about EU migrants taking Moyes' now vacant position at Manchester United, he said 'Moyes has managed to get Manchester out of Europe, so maybe he might come and join UKIP during this campaign.'





The remark came as a huge relief to Moyes, who since November last year has been wearing the face of a man arguing with his mother at the dinner table: furious and stoic, but absolutely helpless. Other pundits have likened Moyes' expression to that of a 'dead schoolboy discovered in the 1950s.'

Moyes was criticised for his poor management of the team, after allegations that he believed tactics to be a kind of mint. The offer of a job will most likely be welcomed, as it is said that Moyes will struggle on his severance package of £4.5 million.