Note-orious Dictator: Kim Jong-Un is Followed by Troupe of Note-Takers

'Mayo and no salad. No, no wait I mean 

salad and no mayo. Did you get that?'

by Kamran Ramsden

Newly released photos of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un have surfaced, prompting commentators to pose two key questions: 1) Is he still trying to make that haircut happen? And 2) Who are all those dudes in uniform with notebooks?

The photos show Kim Jong-un taking some time out of his usual busy schedule of rescuing orphans and taking down American fighter planes with his bare hands to be photographed visiting fisheries, youth camps and flight training bases, all the while with a gang of uniformed men brandishing notebooks following closely behind.


According to reports, these men are military, party and government officials whose job it is to write down the Great Leader’s wisdom on all things. From his practical advice on airbase maintenance and administration, to his musings on where Miley’s new booty come from, it seems that The Great Dictator of the DPRK has a slice of Confucius pie for every occasion.

Some notetakers were seen underlining the words 'He's so dreamy' as the leader spoke, whilst more artistic party members added shading to their sketches of Jong-Un riding a stallion shirtless.

The habit of employing an entourage of note takers to write down one’s every word is not a new phenomenon amongst North Korean leaders. Kim’s grandfather, Kim Il-sung, is also alleged to have had his own following of notebook wielding disciples.The BBC reports that on watching a truck go by him, Il-sung  commented that the truck looked as if it could carry more load. Subsequently, the State television network reported that the truck’s capacity ‘increased to two tons from 800kg’.

Pictures of this nature are purported to be propaganda exercises. Professor James Grayson, Korean expert at the University of Sheffield, commented that they are ‘part of the image of the leader offering benevolent guidance’ and that is important for people to see his disciples ‘hanging on his every word’. Other examples include academic books 'written' by the leaders - Kim Jong-Il, Jong-Un's father, released many books on film and theatre theory, as well as writing several successful operas during his time as leader.

Mark Kermode eat your capitalist heart out.